A Final Farewell at Mt Rainier 07/27- 07/28

I changed my mind and decided to write about my experience at Mt Rainier.

It is 90 degrees and humid here just as if I was in Birmingham. I got settled and took a ride up to Paradise Inn at the foot of Mt Rainier. I went inside and walked around remembering our visit here 13 years ago to the day. I went upstairs to the second floor where it looks out over the huge lobby area and sat at a small table where Janice and I sat and drank wine and played cards. I almost lost it but kept my composure and went back downstairs to eat dinner. It was hard being here without Janice because the trip we took in 1996 was one of the happiest times of her life and we always planned to come back if she got a miracle and was able to hike the mountain again. I hated having to bring her back this way but I promised I would. I went back to the camper to get a good night’s rest before hiking the next day.

I got to the mountain around 9:30 the next day for my hike up the Skyline trail to the spot where I wanted to spread Janice’s ashes. It was another hot but beautiful day. As I hiked up I saw a marmot and it brought back a happy memory from when we were here last. Janice called to a marmot like she was calling a dog and it ran to us. It didn't work this time but it made me smile. I made my way to Panorama Point and stopped for a snack. Everything looked different than it did 13 years ago. Back then it was much colder and there was a lot more snow. This was a nice place but it is not where I wanted to spread her ashes. I wanted to be at the highest point on the trail and this was not quite it. I moved on and got to the spot I remembered although there was no snow there now. It looked completely different but I knew this was the spot. I was fortunate and no one was around which was odd because there were a lot of people hiking. I said my final goodbye to Janice and prayed. Then I released her ashes as a breeze came from behind me to send her ashes a little way down the mountain. My promise to Janice had been fulfilled and then it started to rain. It was a salty rain and not from the sky. I made a cross out of rocks and started down the mountain. On my way down a peace washed over me and I knew that I now could move on with my new life. When Janice died she took a big plug out of my heart with her. She will always have that part of my heart but now it is time to re-fill that hole. I intend to live and love to the fullest as I know Janice wanted for me. I don’t know where life will take me from here but not knowing is part of the adventure. I’m grateful for the 22 years I had with Janice and I have no regrets even though the end caused so much pain. Garth Brooks said it best in his song “Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain but I’d have had to miss The Dance.”